Kieran maingot
self-acceptance
Whether it was a good day, a bad day or somewhere in between, throughout an emotionally turbulent but rewarding university experience, personal care has been central in maintaining my health. Care can take a variety of forms and in a similar vein, it looks different for every individual. Despite the growing conversations around mental health and personal adversity, I have experienced the effects of performative and individualizing care discourses. Most notably in common self-care practices, actions that fall under the self-care umbrella often stress personal responsibility in initiating care behaviours and are packaged to signify positive health but do not inherently have such an impact. It has taken time for me to go beyond aesthetic notions of care to fully realize what I can do to promote my wellbeing.
During my first few years at university, I convinced myself that popular self-care practices such as Netflix and skincare were succeeding in their impacts on my health. I can recall on many occasions consciously using these acts to avoid immobilizing feelings of social isolation that overwhelmed me. Self-care as I understood it, stressed my capacity and responsibility to deal with my circumstances, but upon reflection, my “self-care” became a mechanism for avoidance. To develop effective care practices, I had to expand my notion of care to consider new strategies I could engage with, although, this process is easier said than done. Much like how we exercise self-compassion when challenging situations arise, it is equally important to practice this when evaluating our attempts to care for ourselves.
The key to developing my care regimen has been grasping the idea that care should not entirely be a private practice. Insights from activists like, Nakita Valerio have been important in guiding my efforts to develop holistic care routines. It is through her work that I was exposed to the notion of community care and forced to re-evaluate my actions. Community care stresses the need for individuals and their networks to co-create support mechanisms. Instead of individually approaching my concerns, through community care, I've been working to mutually and gradually foster a culture of care often by initiating more candid discussions about failure, insecurity and anxiety. It is through this culture that difficult times not only became more manageable but less isolating as it necessitates the reciprocation of personal disclosure and emotional honesty.
Making space for care within the communities I am always immersed in was necessary for integrating care practices into my everyday life. For me, personal care involved both evolving my private habits —which still include Netflix and skincare—and establishing a precedent in my environments to build collective care structures. Whether that looks like initiating acts of kindness towards peers, engaging in dialogue about supports and resources or being honest about personal values and feelings, I found community frames of care empowering. While I continue to develop my care regimen, it is important to remind ourselves of the diversity of care practices, and so I call on you to be courageous and explore what strategies work best for you.