Katherine jiang
SELF-Acceptance
I see self-acceptance as an ongoing journey that shifts and changes with you and your life experiences. But I can’t stress enough that it’s so important to be mindful of how you measure your failures successes, and milestones. There’s a very fine line between challenging yourself for improvement and just tearing yourself apart over the tiniest things.
When I say I’m my own worst critic, I mean it. While it comes from that human desire to be your best self, it can also quickly turn into a toxic way of submerging yourself in a sea of insecurity and doubt. I have always wanted to be the best daughter, friend, leader, and woman that I could possibly be. Some days are better than others, and that’s totally fine. I don’t always have the best academic days, but sometimes I’ll get a higher mark than I thought. I’m ten times more confident than I was in first year, but sometimes my mind still drifts and complies an endless list of features I dislike. This is going to sound so cliche, but when we’re scrolling on our phones, whether it be on Instagram or LInkedIn, sometimes we forget that social media is a version of reality curated from other peoples’ highlight reels.
Sometimes, I make the joke that I’m really good at failing. It’s not actually that funny, but I make it anyways because to be honest, not getting what I thought I wanted has always resulted in something better. A tough pill to swallow has also been that those situational failures or shortcomings don’t actually make me a failure as a person.
No matter what you thought your odds were, failure is probably the most humbling experience. Any humbling experience is also a learning experience. But failure can also straight up feel like getting kicked in the gut. It’s not a good feeling. I’m not going to go on a “trust the process” tangent, because I’ve hated those every time I’ve been on the receiving end. But I will say that I’m my experience, no doors will just open on their own. With patience and perseverance, certain doors slam shut so bigger, better ones have the space to open. And when you step into those rooms, they’re spaces of personal growth and opportunity that make your past defeats all make sense. I didn’t end up pursuing the line of education that was expected of me, but I ended up finding a passion and undying curiosity for something else. I didn’t even get an interview for my top choice university and it crushed me, but moving away from home to come to Western gave me a fresh start away from everything I’d ever known and has encompassed some of the most difficult yet most rewarding learning curves of my life. I’ve had a fair share of rejections from extracurriculars and jobs, but incredible opportunities better suited to my career and wellness came up in their absence.
Life can feel like an uphill battle, which can totally suck - but it doesn’t mean you won’t win in the end. Always be your own #1 fan, because nobody else will push those 2am rabbit holes of doubt out of your mind. I am constantly re-evaluating the ways I measure my “best self”, a term that constantly changes with who I am, so whatever that means. Where do certain goals stem from, are they realistic, what do I gain from them, and are they healthy? Environments play such a big part of that and it’s important to remember that the values and conversations of the people and places that surround you will inevitably influence you. But don’t believe everything you hear about yourself. You don’t need everyone’s two cents when valuable validation comes from those who have your best interests in mind. And be a little kinder to yourself because chances are, you’re doing just fine.